My whole life I’ve been nicknamed “Sunshine”.
My family, friends, strangers. They felt my instant positive vibes from my smile and emit almost like a pheromone from my skin.
I’ve always been capable of handling other people, even difficult ones, and always have been a person people come to for help and can count on. I feel their feelings. I cry their tears. I listen to their stories. I offer a positive insight.
Being an empath, I am able to imagine almost every situation from someone else’s point of view. Why they act how they act, why the make the decisions they make, why they say the things they say.
That person who cut you off in traffic and gave you the middle finger, maybe they are rushing to the emergency room where their loved one was just admitted. The couple arguing loudly in the store, maybe they just had a miscarriage. The employee who was rude while you were shopping, maybe their mother just died but they have to work to pay for the funeral.
You. Never. Know.
I always try to find reasons why others aren’t as pleasant as we’d like, I always smile and try to be nice to everyone. I try to do everything I can to help others.
I’ve been praised for how I am. I’ve been put down for how I am.
“You’re too nice…” “You care too much about strangers…” “Those things don’t matter…”
I’ve never allowed negative feedback to sway me or change my mindset.
One thing I had to learn the hard way is people simply will not care about you back.
They will not care about others the way you care.
They will not care about you how you care about them.
I’ve had to learn how to recognize people who want to focus on negativity, who lack empathy and who want to put me down instead of lift me up.
These people are toxic.
I used to make excuses and try to ignore the simple things. Like the road rage, the simple neglect for other people’s emotions or feelings, constant degrading comments about others.
Bumping into someone accidentally and the response being “Watch the fuck out, idiot!” or passive aggressively handling things instead of honestly saying how you feel and trying to fix it and keep going.
One time, I was riding passenger in a car and the driver was speeding. Someone was walking across the road and I said “Watch out for the human!” and they, I’m NOT kidding, SPED UP faster and the person had to run across the rest of the way.
How hateful is that?
How can someone go through life constantly having negative, hateful thoughts about everyone around them? All they see is darkness. All I see is sunshine.
We are all human. Raised with different values from different cultures but we all bleed red.
Some people have conversations only focused around other people. Not about things, ideas, or things of substance. Simply focusing on people and how they are fuck ups or how they are stupid.
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
Let’s all listen to Eleanor. I think she knows what she was talking about!
They insult you on a personal level. Don’t take any responsibility. They gaslight you and try to make you feel like you’re the wrong one. They reverse the situation onto you. They pick you apart and compare you to their “superior” way of doing things.
I have my own thoughts sometimes. I’m not perfect. I make quick judgements just as everyone else does.
My point is, I don’t let it over take my mind. I don’t let it take over my conversations and my relationships. I try to not make personal insults when I’m upset. I understand emotions are temporary and life is better when focusing on and emphasizing positive emotions.
I try to respect others. I try to leave room for openness, understanding and kindness in my relationships. I don’t hold grudges. I try to listen and not be petty.
The biggest issue I’ve had to deal with in being empathetic is understanding that other people simply DO NOT CARE.
I would try to always explain my side of things and hope they would see things from my point of view as I would try to see things from their point of view.
Instead, I would be shot down. Told I was selfish. Told I didn’t understand. They never let me understand. They never told me how they felt; they simply insulted me on a personal level.
My entire life, all I wanted was for those I love to understand where I was coming from and my thought process. Including my own family. I never tried to make excuses. I only wanted them to understand me.
Unfortunately, they were incapable of opening their own minds to welcome any other possibilities. They simply were not able to understand me.
I would have to “shut my mouth” in order to maintain any kind of peace and would feel like they didn’t care about me enough to listen to me speak and share my own views.
You can only take so much. You know what your limit is. I never wanted to give up. I wanted to be a good friend.
Letting go was and is hard. Especially since all I wanted to do was love.
Luckily, those people grew separate and apart from me. I’ve let them go.
I realized how toxic they were, how much they affected my emotional and mental well-being.
I’ve learned to stand up for myself against toxic people because honestly and unfortunately, they are a part of life.
I have learned to be aware, present and mindful of those around me. I’ve learned to identify “energy vampires” who crave the drama and the attention. They will suck an empathetic person dry.
Let. Those. Suckers. GO!
We must not allow their toxic personalities to infect us into becoming like them. What matters is how we react, how we handle the situation and how we handle ourselves. Learn to meditate, let all of the negative energy flow through you and make its exit, leaving room for positive energy and growth.
If you don’t know anything about meditation, there are apps and many articles online how to do it. Or shoot me an email!
When they go low, we must go high. They can be blinded by my shine. They may want to turn off my light…
But my sun will always shine.
I do not have to become like them in order to protect myself. Once you realize this and you have your own self security and self confidence, you can conquer all of the energy vampires in the world!
Keep going, keep growing and keep loving. Be present.
Grow and love with me?