Spilled Wine. 🍷

Spilled Wine. 🍷

The seemingly easiest thing to do was just to keep it straight and together.

The stem of the wine glass fit perfectly between my thighs as I lounged on the couch.

Let’s be honest: I have thick legs. Nature’s wine glass holder, amirite?!

A balancing act fit for a queen that has deemed her couch her throne this Thursday evening. 👑👑👑

Let’s be honest again, I’m not only talking about my glass of wine.

I’m also talking about LIFE.

The liquid of the gods (ahem, “wine”) resided in the wine glass between my thighs. This wine glass says “Hello Sunshine” on it.

I smile every time I look at it. 

I raised my glass to my lips, took a sip and placed it gracefully back into nature’s wine glass holder.

Just kidding.

The glass immediately fell forward and spilled on my couch.

For a fraction of a second, I contemplated if I should get a towel or just let it soak into the couch. 🤷‍♀️

Let the wine become one with the couch. Let the wine become one with me.

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My mom would kill me if she knew I even thought about this! The spilled wine started to form into the shape of her face. Like how some people see Yoda on toast.

I jumped up, got a towel and praised to the universe that I was drinking white wine and not red wine.

I guess I need a refill now. Thank goodness this box of wine was on sale at the grocery store.

My wine stain mom was all soaked up now. No trace of it except maybe a faint aroma of the wine.

Maybe that was just the newly poured glass I had in my hand. #winning

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Forget nature’s wine glass holder for now; I’ll just pull the coffee table closer to the couch.

Genius.

Not much I could have done to prevent my wine glass from tipping over. 🤷‍♀️

I put my trust into nature’s wine glass holder and it doesn’t work all the time, causing a spill.

A stain on my throne and on me.

I mean, a temporary stain on my throne and on me.

There was a way to clean it up and a way to refill my glass of wine and I found another option to store my wine glass while I lounged on my throne.

Think of life as that glass of wine and that throne.

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It’s wine, Pete… It’s wine. (That is the bassist and front man for Fall Out Boy, if you live under a rock and didn’t know).

Sure, nature’s wine glass holder was not 100% effective. . .

That does not mean I gave up, let the stain soak in and never drank wine again.

Life is not easy. Keeping my wine glass straight was not easy. Disaster is bound to strike.

Balancing relationships, friendships, family, finances, a career or job, physical and mental health… and everything in between… Life is simply NOT easy.

I cleaned it up. I poured another glass. I found another way.

Just because one thing does not work out, does not mean you need to give up completely.

Don’t let an accident forever destroy your throne or take away your glass of wine.

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Trust the process. Trust yourself.

You are in control. So, take control.

What if I was out of wine?

Hello, there is a gas station across the street. #FiveDollarWine #EmergencyWine

What if I did not have a towel? 

I have a dirty clothes laundry basket full of t-shirts waiting to be made more dirty.

Live your life so that you enjoy it. Be lenient on yourself when you make mistakes, learn and grow.

Listen to me: be kind to yourself, as you should be kind to others.

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Just like my towel soaked up the spilled wine from my throne, you must soak up life lessons. Experiences. Wisdom. Love.

If I gave up after every heartache or every time I made a mistake and fucked up or every time my father let me down or every time I stressed over money or relationships, then I would not be as strong as I currently am.

If I allowed every terrible thing that has happened to me to harden my heart, I would be so unhappy…

This life and this world offers so much. Go find it. Do not be distracted by a spilled glass of wine when there are countless vineyards ready to yield more wine than you can even imagine drinking.

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Emotions are scary if you do not recognize why we have them. Over a spilled glass of wine… Your emotions will be different from others in the same situation.

This is because we are all from different backgrounds, cultures, families, friends, beliefs. We have all learn differently.

We have emotions as indicators to help us know what is going on around us and what is happening to us and to others.

Recognizing, acknowledging and growing with these emotions is such a revolutionary act in this digital age. Realizing they are temporary…

Being aware, understanding and accepting of not only your own emotions but other’s emotions is the most positive thing that I have learned.

Learn. Grow. Keep going. We need you here. Don’t give up.

Do not allow your throne to remain stained.

Do not allow your wine glass to remain empty.

Be good to yourself.

xoxo,
Your favorite wine-o and lover of life,
Stila

P.S. I know the metaphor of a spilled wine glass vs life is simplistic. I lost my only uncle to suicide in 2007. I have lost friends to suicide. There are ways to overcome heartache, tragedy, pain. Please, take the time to learn and grow. You can and will be strong enough. Pay attention to you and your friends and loved ones. Listen for those who need help and help them. Help yourself. If you or someone you know is struggling, please get help. You are not alone. Call the toll-free, 24-hour hotline of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) to be connected to a trained counselor at a suicide crisis center nearest you.

P.P.S. I actually have literally spilled my wine more times using nature’s wine glass holder method than I care to admit… LOL.

Worthy. 🙏

Worthy. 🙏

This weekend I saw Spider-Man: Homecoming.

We joked that all future Spider-Man movies will be named after cliche high school dances.

Spiderman: Sadie Hawkins.

Spider-Man: Spring Fling.

Spider-Man: Prom.

Fine I’ll stop now.

I’m still rooting for Tobey Maguire but he was sooooo 2002.

For some reason, I had a quick thought. I believe it was caused by the dreams I had been having…

I was raped in one. My teeth were falling out in the other.

Insecurity 101. 

“Am I ready for this relationship with him? Am I worthy of being treated so well? Am I good enough? Will I fuck this up?”

A wave of insecurity and negativity hit me in the face for absolutely no reason regarding my new man-friend.

He’s been nothing but wonderful to me! Why was I thinking this way?

Because I’m human. Because of what I have gone through in previous relationships.

As much insecurity as I’ve struggled with, it would be absurd to never feel it again.

Those things do stay with us. They do not simply disappear. It is NORMAL.

We have to acknowledge the insecurities. Talk about them. Receive the reassurance and love we are worthy of…

That’s right. I said we are WORTHY.

I am worthy to get a foot rub after a long day. (Which he loves to give foot rubs so I’m lucky on that end!)

I am worthy to have someone to just sit with me and talk about our days with no distractions including video games, reddit, facebook, instagram, etc.

I am worthy to have a man who really wants to be involved with my life and actually treat me right. AND he helps do the dishes!
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I AM WORTHY, BITCHES!


We will always experience self-doubt because it is human nature. We always think the good, the bad and the ugly. Focusing on the bad and the ugly because we do not realize we are worthy of the good.

It is easy to allow these overwhelming thoughts to take over but we must be strong. Train ourselves mentally to overcome these toxic thoughts.

My advice to you is to believe what you are worthy of and LET YOURSELF HAVE IT.

Do not allow yourself to be caught up in the negative “what-ifs” of self-doubt. Let them pass through then MOVE ON!

Take control of yourself, your thoughts and your actions. Be conscious. Be present. Be alive.

As Diana Prince stated in Wonder Woman… “It is not about deserve. It is about what we believe.”

No one necessarily deserves anything. Be yourself. Be happy and content being on your own and with who you are. Understand you cannot control other people and you must have your own strength.

If you do not establish your own true self-confidence, you will never relinquish your full power!

Establish independence and self-confidence. Then establish trust in others and confidence in others for no one can provide what you can provide yourself.

If what I have now with him doesn’t last, then at least I have finally experienced someone who is kind, gentle and caring towards me.

At least I am having this opportunity to experience what I am worthy of and I will never lower that standard again.

Which if you ask me, is a huge step forward for me to even allow myself this or allow someone to get close to me.

I like where life is taking me… How my heart and soul and mind are growing…

It is breathtakingly wonderful.


Now if I can get the rest of my life together…. 😂😂😂😂

Who am I kidding?  I’ll probably always be a mess!

One day at a time.

xoxo,
Stila